Dating with a lady rodrena
I have dated a girl last Sunday . It’s been not a week. I didn’t have any intention to do anything with her , also neither she had . We were watching movie together . But all of a sudden at the end I did unprotected sex with her . She was around 23/24 and I’m 32 . She was coming badly prior to sex . And I felt really bad at the last after sex . She was totally unknown to me . And that was our first date . After sex I told her whether she had any std or not. She told me she tested previously and it was negative . I was bothering her asking to go and test again. And after that she blocked me . She is African American lady and I’m Asian . I don’t know lots of questions are coming my mind , is she knew previously she got std ?
Last 4 days I’m just googling , and now today I’m feeling genital sore . I think too much from my childhood without reasons . And I believe if I do test and if it comes positive I’m gonna die . I never did mistake like this. But accidentally I did . I’m having also blister on my tongue.. i don’t have fever . But I’m scared . I can’t concentrate to my job or even a single thing. Just thinking this always .
Is she transmitting this willingly . Why she blocked me . I was trying to see her previous std report but she blocked me . If people already got the disease they should tell this to his or her partner . Or am I thinking too much ? I don’t have many friends and I can’t even share this with my family. Hope you guys can reply . I’m mentally broken . In my culture it’s not the same .
I'm glad you reached out because I can tell from your writing that you're dealing with a lot of anxiety and worry. Also, it gives me a chance to clear up misinformation about HIV that can feed into this worry, and may be helpful to others following our conversation.
It sounds like you are concerned about having unprotected sex with someone, and when you asked, she said her previous tests for STDs was negative. There are many reasons for sores like the one you noticed, so I would suggest talking with a doctor about it so it can be treated and you can start to feel better.
If you are concerned about HIV transmission, there are several tests you can take (including at-home tests) listed here: https://h-i-v.net/test-types .
You said that you are feeling very broken. I can say there are incorrect messages about HIV that you may have heard from others or from the media that may feed into those feelings. Those who are living with HIV and undergoing treatment actually can reach a place where they are undetectable and no longer transmit HIV sexually. I can say there are many here in this community living with HIV and leading very healthy and happy lives. With today's better treatments, one of the hardest things people living with HIV face is misunderstanding.
Alafia (Peace) I totally understand where your concern is coming from. I know that shared some informative information regarding testing. I want to share as a person who has been living with HIV for 33 years that getting tested and even receiving a reactive test (positive) it is not the end of the world or your life. If you seek care and treatment and take medication you can live a long and healthy life.
I can only imagine how you feel based on your cultural differences. I don't know much about how Asian culture responds to issues around HIV. I want you to know that knowing your status after a encounter which makes you feel uncomfortable is the only way to bring yourself peace of mind. Please stay in touch with us so we can support you through this process. Khafre (H-I-V.net Team Member)
