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HIV Anxiety

So. I'm killing myself with anxiety and stress. I have serious health anxiety, almost debilitating. Almost a month ago I had an "encounter" with a lady friend. It involved some "dry" humping while we both had underwear on for maybe 2 minutes. But obviously due to the nature of things, the underwear did get a bit damp from both her and my side. Panties being a single layer material and my underwear a double layer. Then, we decided to have sex. I put on a condom and it happened, but not for long. She hadn't had sex for months so it hurt a bit so we stopped after a few minutes. Immediately after, my health anxiety kicked in. This chic gave me untold infections I told myself. I did quiz her a bit about her general status and she indicated that she's fine. Have to admit, and I am ashamed, I am married so this hookup never should have happened. I didn't want to risk "infecting" my wife with anything so had to come up with a story as to why we couldn't have sex. After 9 days I went to the doc to run tests. I know there are window periods etc but couldn't wait any longer. HIV rapid test was negative and the urine tests for other STIs was also negative. 10 days later (19 days) I went for a second round of tests, HIV rapid test negative and a week later the urine tests also came back negative. This was on Saturday morning. When the wife heard the news she wanted action immediately having waited patiently for almost 3 weeks. Having heard the test results I was confident things were good, and so happily complied.

Skip forward 3 days. My wife has broken out in a rash on her chest. Between boobs, chest and neck. She has gotten this similar rash a few times in the past when she uses certain kinds of medication. But this time she took no meds. She has no other symptoms I know of. The rash apparently isn't itchy. Its just red, no bumps or anything.

So obviously you run to Dr. Google to see what you can find out. Some websites say an HIV rash IS itchy, some say it ISN'T. Most websites state if she got the virus from me a rash should appear in 2 to 4 weeks. One website said it could even start in 3 days. It was 3 days since we had sex.

So now my anxiety is sky high again. I have infected my wife because of a stupid decision, I'm telling myself.

Given the above. Given the dry humping, then condomed sex. Given the negative rapid test at 19 days (which I believe is 50% accurate). Given my wife getting a rash super fast, do I have grounds to worry or is my anxiety unfounded and my biggest problem?

  1. Hi , I can tell your anxiety is sky high, as you said, and it can be so stressful worrying about these concerns. If you are looking for more information about the specifics of an HIV-related rash, this article may be helpful in giving you specific things to look out for: https://h-i-v.net/rashes. However, it sounds like you took preventative measures by using a condom when engaging in penetration, and do not have a reason to suspect the person you had this encounter with has a positive status, so it may be worth exploring other reasons for your wife's rash while you wait for the window period to end. Has she spoken to a medical professional about this rash? - Liz (H-I-V.net Team Member)

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