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a woman casually resting in bed using dating apps

Dating Apps and Living with HIV

Davina Conner's avatar image

By Davina Conner

2 min read

We all know that we live in a world where people who live with HIV hide behind their diagnosis. I am not saying that they don’t disclose but they don’t want others to know who are not living with HIV.

Over the last year, I want to share my experience when it comes to dating and men or should I say using dating apps. Something that is very new to me. When I learned that people are now using apps to find someone I was in shock. I never like to put myself out there, but I wanted to experience something with this app thing.

I decided to make a profile on a few of them and these were not dating apps for people living with HIV. I never limited myself because I am living with HIV, I always felt that my diagnosis should not let me feel a certain way.

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My dating profiles

What I did was put in my profile that I was an HIV advocate, I worked at an organization where I traveled often, and I was open about my HIV. Guess what happened? There was message after message from many men of all races. Even though my profile said looking for Black men. It didn’t shock me because men who were HIV-negative never had an issue with me living with HIV.

Then I went to some dating apps for people who were living with HIV and added the same profile stating that I was open with my HIV. The funny part was not one message (lol) at all from an app that had all men who were living with HIV. Why do you think that is?

Positive HIV status on apps

It's because they are all in hiding and cannot see themselves with a woman who is confident with living with HIV. Because if they dated me, they would have to deal with everyone knowing that this woman has HIV, and they don’t want anyone to think that they have HIV. I think that it’s pretty sad.

It’s like stigmatizing someone for the same thing that they live with. Does it bother me not at all? I wanted to do this so I could prove to everyone what I have been saying for years. Most men who are living with HIV will not be in a relationship with a woman who is living in her truth (open with her HIV).

Living in my truth

I have become okay with the life I have, and that is doing what I was led to do and that is being an HIV educator, working in the HIV field, and letting the world know that I am happy with who I am.

I can say that I would never change who I am just to be in a relationship because I would never be happy that way. We all want to find love right because this was how we were created.

All I can say is love will find me when it is time as long as it’s someone who loves all of me for who I am.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The H-I-V.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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