My Dating Experience with HIV
Last updated: January 2023
I was extremely worried about dating knowing about my status. I was in a bad marriage for a long time. He made sure that I knew how lucky I was that he stayed with me after we found out that I had HIV.
This added to my concern about being in the dating world again. I was worried that my ex would be right. That nobody would be interested in me once they learned that I had HIV, that nobody would care about the positives about me. My experience was so much different than I could have ever expected.
How I met my boyfriend
My boyfriend actually reached out to me on Facebook! The two of us knew each other 15 years prior to when he reached out to me. We started talking as friends originally. The more time we spent talking, mainly through text, all the feelings I had for him back in the day resurfaced.
Eventually, we met for a few meals. After one of them, we went to the waterfront. This is something we did when we were younger. We shared some kisses at the water before he took me back to my car.
Disclosing my HIV status
I knew I needed to inform him about everything. Those kisses were the absolute most that I would ever let happen before telling him everything there was to know about my health. I was still so worried about having to tell him my secret. I had a million scenarios that played through my head on what could happen when I told him.
I will say that I did not tell him in person. I had intended to do so, but when I told him over messages that there was something that I needed to tell him before we progressed any further, he asked me to tell him. Needless to say, I sent one really long message.
I told him that I had HIV. At the same time, I provided him with information about HIV today. I took this step because there is still so much lack of information in society today. I wanted to tackle the common misconceptions at the same time that I told this secret of mine.
Dating a partner who is HIV negative
Much to my surprise, he was still interested in talking to me! Of course, over time, he did have more questions than what I covered in my initial monologue. I already had experience with PrEP because the person I was married to previously was also HIV negative. I had already been undetectable for a couple years.
Due to these circumstances, my status did not affect our relationship much. We still have a perfectly intimate life. We are also looking forward to building a real future together. I have to say that this man is a polar opposite from my ex. He does not try to control me. Honestly, there is so much love and appreciation from him, that it still surprises me.
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