a gay man stares at a family tree of portraits of his future family

My Future Family

One day in the future, I will be a father. I want to be a father to at least 3 beautiful children. I will be a father regardless of whether I have a spouse or someone to raise my children with.

At the end of the day, I have always hoped to find someone that I could raise children with, get married, and start a family. But the older I get, the more that looks like that image is slowly fading.

The best father I could possibly be

Being a gay man in Los Angeles, it is very hard for me to find other gay men that would like to have children. For some reason, the individuals that I date do not want kids or do not have kids on their radar at all.

I am 28 and I truly wish I could have 1 child already. My mother was a single parent and had me when she was young, and I love the relationship that she and I have created. She is my mother and my best friend, and I can rely on her for anything and everything.

I always grew up wanting a relationship with my father who was never around. So, I always told myself that I would become the best father I could possibly be. My father always used the excuse that he never had a father figure in his life which is the reason why he didn’t know how to be one.

I am openly expressing to you all that I will never use that excuse. I will use the fact that I never had a father figure in my life and turn that around and be there for my children.

My partner did not want kids

I, for one, was in a long-term relationship where my partner did not want kids. As much as I loved and cared for this person, the fact that he did not want kids really did affect the way I looked at our relationship.

At the beginning of our relationship, he expressed that he did not mind having kids if that is what his partner wanted; so, for a while, I accepted that answer. A few months ago, he expressed that he no longer saw kids in his future at all and that kids are out of the question for his path in life.

I couldn't continue the relationship

I tried to convince him and express that I see myself being a father one day and he still did not want that. As much as I cared about this person, I did not want to continue on in a relationship where we both did not have the same end goal.

I will start a family of my own

Many people have expressed to me that I should still stick by him and continue with the relationship, but deep down I know what I truly want in life and that is a family.

It would be my own fault if I stayed with him for a few more years and he continued to not want children. At that point, I could not be mad at him if he doesn’t change his mind because he openly told me he does not want kids at all.

The reason why am I expressing this here is because I needed a place to express my thoughts around this situation that is happening in my life. I truly am confident in my decision and know that one day, I will start a family of my own.

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