Peace Takes Effort

Have you ever held a grudge against someone? My grudge partner is my older brother. We’ve become seasoned veterans of the blame game. Our usual point of contention has always been around cleaning. No one likes cleaning the bathroom. If you are the exception, please help us out! All that being said, we use to go at it quite a bit over this household chore.

Finding peace when managing disagreements

Even as adults, we still have our disagreements. Through all of this, I still find ample room to love my brother. I recently got so angry with my brother that I almost lost my voice. This made me come to a decision to approach the situation differently. I asked myself, "Is this worth me losing my voice over?" I sing, and this would be a huge loss for me to be sick and unable to do the things that I love. I asked myself, "How can I find peace?"

Having peace despite daily challenges

In our life journey, we encounter so many challenges that cause us to be stressed, anxious, and generally unhappy. On top of all of that, we all have health struggles that most people we interact with have no idea that we are dealing with. In these situations, how can we maintain our own peace?

Is it worth it?

Life will always present challenges and shifts that keep us busy. There is always an emergency or fire to put out. Sometimes, these things unsettle us far beyond the conflict. In the case of my brother, I would be hoarse for a few days. I had to look at this situation and ask, "How does yelling at my brother bring me peace?" Is being right about this situation make me feel peaceful? Does yelling at my brother bring me peace?

At this very question, I realized: I get some satisfaction from releasing this negative energy at my brother. There were things that had built up over time that finally had expressed themselves. But was it worth losing my voice over? The answer is absolutely not for me.

Finding peace and compromise in disagreements

I realized that in choosing peace, I am also making a sacrifice to put away my own ego, and sense of what is ‘right’ to restore harmony in my home. I’m not saying that I let my brother walk all over me. But I try to be slow to get upset.

Peace requires work and compassion

I look for ways to compromise even if it sometimes means I have to be the one to apologize or work to repair the relationship. I care deeply for peace to exist in this relationship and it takes consistent work. It takes compassion and empathy. It sometimes means being uncomfortable and always requires authenticity and the ability to stand up for yourself.

Peace is a negotiation. Peace is coming to a resolution and being able to grow in spite of differences. In the most difficult situations, there is a way to find and maintain peace.

Update: I think we've come to a resolution. We'll alternate weekly. :-)

How do you keep your peace when folks push your buttons?