Innocence Taken

Editor's note: Trigger warning - This article shares a personal experience of sexual assault. If you are an adult survivor, you are not alone. Visit the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) or chat online at online.rainn.org with a trained support specialist.

My room was that of any teenage freshman girl. A small box tv sat on my white dresser facing my bed.

My bed, adorned with a neon comforter, was every bit of SEVENTEEN Magazine. And over my bed was a pretty white sparkly mosquito net.

Not only was my room beautiful but, at 14, I was quite the doll. My hair hung down my back in jet black spiral curls and complimented my very dark eyes. And thankfully for me, I was blessed with a B cup in sixth grade. My strong features attracted men - ones that were older and more experienced.

And although I loved attention, I would come to know why all attention is not good.

Meeting Quincy

I met Quincy at a high school party, and he was every bit of FINE. Tall, dark, and long, thick dreads. Quincy was almost an adult, turning 18 just weeks after we had met.

I was a mere child, just feeding off of the wrong attention. Months went by of group hangouts with Quincy and his friends. We were teenagers being teenagers.

Quincy knew I was a virgin, and never missed a beat to mention how he wanted to take my virginity. And eventually, he did just that - TOOK it.

He said we wanted to hang out after work

Quincy texted me one day saying he wanted to hang out after work. I told Quincy I was home but all of my friends were at their homes.

He said he wanted to just hang out solely. I agreed and told Quincy that we could hang out after he got off.

Now, I knew there was no way that my mom would approve of me having adult company and after hours. So, I did what any teenager would do...I told him I’d sneak him in.

Quincy said that he wanted to just come hang out and watch TV. While I waited for his shift to end, I fell asleep.

He continued his advances

Quincy still came over and knocked on my side door until I woke up. When I finally let him in, he immediately started trying to kiss me. I was gagging on the inside, as he smelled of old fry grease and desperation. When I pushed him back and told him he needed to leave, he stopped - but only for a brief moment.

Quincy sat on the edge of my bed, as I lay across it watching TV and praying that he would be uninterested and leave. Quincy ran his hand over my back and asked me if I wanted to “give it up” to him. I declined.

Quincy pushed me over, and said, “It won’t hurt”. He was already in his boxers but still had his greasy work shirt on. I shuttered and shook my head, "No." Over and over again. Quincy still continued his advances.

He climbed on top of me, as he aggressively moved my shorts to the side. I couldn’t speak. I was in shock. I kept shaking my head no, as he climbed on top of me and pushed inside of my dry virgin vagina. With every thrust, my tears became hotter and my heart more broken.

He took my innocence

I began to cry. The tears streamed down my face and into my ears as I looked at the ceiling, in a trance. I tried to talk. I tried to scream. Nothing came out. My voice box had to be broken. The only reaction I could form was more tears. I lay there, confused and hurt.

A few minutes went by, and Quincy stopped humping me. I just laid there, tears falling off of my face onto my sheets.

Quincy seemed unfazed by my tears, as he began to pull his pants from around his ankles. He began to collect his belongings and tell me he would call me another time.

I laid there, as he let himself out and vanished into the darkness. And with him, he took my innocence.

The aftermath is that for another story, as I fought for years to overcome.