Looking Back, Stepping Forward: My Advocacy Journey

Hello again, H-I-V.net family. It has been a while since I last connected with you in 2021, when I embarked on a new adventure with an international nonprofit medical association. What has changed since then? Well, a bit of everything and, in some ways, not much at all. But first, for those whom I may not have had the pleasure of meeting, allow me to (re)introduce myself.

This is me

My name is Kalvin Lee Pugh. My father was Kenneth Alvin (which is how I became Kalvin), and my mother was Barbra Lee. Yes, you read that right — my parents are named Barbie and Ken. I am the oldest of 6 siblings, and we were homeschooled in a deeply religious household in Kansas - yes, Dorothy's Kansas. I was outed as gay at 15, which was not well received at the time, but I was fortunate to have a mother who loved and accepted the fact I was born this way. I spent a decade as a hairdresser, eventually opening my own salon, and on May 22, 2016, I was diagnosed as HIV-positive.

That day was undoubtedly a tough one, but looking back over the years, I have faced other challenging moments that were arguably worse. I was fortunate to have a great team of case managers and health care providers who guided me through through the unfamiliar and complex medical system all of whom I credit for the journey that brought me here, to this moment.

As I write this, I am currently sitting on a plane headed to New Haven, Connecticut for a few days of meetings with fellow patient advocates on improving access to quality healthcare in the United States.

Finding purpose

That fateful day in 2016 set into motion what I believe was me finding my purpose. I closed my salon without another job lined up because I believed in my gut that I needed to trust the universe/God/the force would place me where I was meant to be.

A week later I was working at the front desk of a local AIDS Service Organization (ASO) helping to direct clients to case managers, the clinic, or to resources in the community. Many may find going from being your own boss to being a receptionist a step down when, in reality, it was a step forward. I found great purpose in interacting with the community, providing a friendly face to people may not be having the best day.

It was only a temporary position, but shortly before it was over one of the case managers informed me that another ASO down the street was looking for a peer educator mentoring those newly diagnosed on adhering to treatment, maintaining their health and working with individuals who struggled to maintain their healthcare.

The greatest unexpected adventure

I interviewed and landed the job. Around the same time I was approached by a pharmaceutical company to do a series of speaking engagements across the country and to appear in their print and television campaign.

Those were some of the greatest years of my life so far, both in feeling that I was being of service to my community but also traveling across the country speaking and meeting other people living with HIV.

Truly if I really look back at it all now, that day in 2016 set about the greatest adventures that I never would have experienced if I had not been diagnosed HIV positive. I would go on to appear in one of the first television ads for HIV treatment (which that is a whole story in itself), and then ultimately landing a job where I would host podcasts, speak to global leaders, and lead the creation of Zero HIV Stigma Day, the first global HIV Awareness Day since 1988, which this year saw nearly a million participants.

A few weeks ago I left that role, just like in the salon, listening again to my gut that it was time to make space for whatever guiding force of the universe is pulling me towards next.

3 letters don't define you

As I return to the H-I-V.net family, I reflect on my journey and want to offer a message to those who are newly diagnosed or struggling with their HIV status. You do not have to feel good about it today or even in the weeks to come. I hope you find a place of peace and self-love, remembering that those 3 letters do not define all that you are or all you are capable of. Most importantly, they don't limit what you can achieve in life.

Not all moments are steps up; some are steps forward, and sometimes, stepping back allows us to gain perspective. The day I was diagnosed wasn't the end of my life — it was the beginning of a journey filled with purpose, opportunities, and a deeper appreciation for our shared humanity.

Thank you for welcoming me back. Please be kind to yourself, and know that I am rooting for you to live a life free of stigma and doubt, because that, in the end, is true success.