I'm Sex-Positive Because I'm HIV Positive

It may be hard to believe that I'm sex-positive because I'm HIV positive, when the vast majority of us believe HIV is the end of our sex life.

But I think it's only the beginning of ultimately owning our sexual selves.

Am I undeserving of sex?

I was born with HIV, so from the very start, my sex life was deemed over since birth. That's pretty cruel toward a child that hasn't experienced our sex culture yet.

Being HIV positive, people see me as a threat and endangerment toward others.

Therefore, people believe that I should opt out of engaging in sexual activity to give them peace of mind.

But I can't opt out of being human

The problem with that thought process is that those people are only thinking about themselves and are not thinking about people like me.

To believe I'm undeserving of having sex reveals their lack of awareness that we are naturally sexual beings, and I can't opt out of an experience that is included in the needs of humans.

Sexual expression is as vital as any other form of self-expression we have, and oppressing our feelings causes harm to our overall wellness.

Unpacking the harmful beliefs I had about myself

The attacks on my sexual self simply didn't make sense.

1. I thought my sex life was over

What helped me dismiss the belief that my sex life was over was that my sex life never began.

2. Would I be criminalized for having a sex life?

I also believed people would shame me for my previous sexual behaviors and potentially criminalize me for having sex while being HIV positive.

This is invalid because we can't assume that people living with HIV intentionally want to give others HIV, nor is it reasonable to connect someone's sexual behavior to their HIV diagnosis.

3. Would my children be born with HIV?

Another type of attack that was implanting fear? My children would be HIV positive. But that didn't make sense because my younger brothers don't have HIV.

These attacks reveal that the HIV narrative is flawed, and it is intended to be that way. Our cultural views on HIV aren't about informing people about HIV; it's about oppressing people's sexual selves.

Society's views on sex and STDs

Additionally, we live in a society that expects us to be in a monogamous relationship. Anything outside is looked down upon.

Sexually transmitted illnesses are sometimes associated with people who engage in non-monogamous sexual activity. In reality, certain STDs can be transmitted non-sexually, especially through skin-to-skin contact. But not everyone knows this.

STDs are a part of life, just like any other health condition. Therefore, instead of dismissing this reality, our culture should unite people by empowering them to care for their sexual health.

Since I think our exposure to sex is oppressive, I choose to opt-out and empower myself and others to be their sexual selves.

Being HIV positive has made me sex-positive

Being born HIV positive has made me sex-positive because I understand what it feels like to be invalidated, dismissed, and fearful.

I have no desire to make others feel that way about their sexual expression.

I was deemed unworthy of having sex from the start of my life. So, I had to find the beginning, since the "end" - for many other people - is their HIV diagnosis.

My beginning consists of owning my sexual self and not allowing our culture to weaponize it.