Shaming Others

The first thing I would like to say is that everyone has their point of view, but when those views shame other people, which is a problem for me. I have written about how words matter because the language we use can be damaging. In fact, it will put a stigma upon a certain group, race, gender, or population.

Although I am not a gay male, I still respect all human beings and will never use terms that make them look bad in any way, shape, or form. I put words to paper right now to give my views and feelings on an acronym called Down Low (DL). A term that started in the Black community to describe Black men who were in a relationship with a woman but sleeping with men secretly. This DL came about in the 90s and we are no longer in the ’90s now, are we?

Utilizing appropriate terminology

I came across a post that disturbed me and this was because the individual using the term DL had no clue where it came from. You see let me clarify the correct term now being used is men who sleep with men (MSM) or a man who does not identify as being gay but has sexual relations with men and women but does not disclose that to their female partners. Some may call this a bisexual person.

The title of the post was: Down Low Men Put Women at Risk for HIV, Protect Your Women Wear a Condom, or Go on PrEP. My point is that we are all responsible for our sexual health and placing blame shows resentment and failure to accept responsibility for our actions.

How I see it

We shame others and then wonder why men won't say if they are having sexual relations with men. Despite claiming to be advocates and telling people to stop stigmatizing, some do not realize that they contribute to this.

Or is it that when you are a woman you don’t feel connected to a certain group of people and don’t see that what you are doing is a form of homophobic thoughts? Some people will not admit this and then try to justify what they said.

My thoughts: I identify as a heterosexual woman who has sex with men and when someone says I am a heterosexual man who identifies as that then that is who he is. It is not our call to say whether someone is gay or not especially if that is not what he identifies as.

We must stop

Why is it that when a woman has a few sexual encounters with other women she is not labeled as a lesbian, but when a man has some sexual encounters with other men then he is labeled gay for the rest of his life? Can anyone answer that for me, please?

We must stop judging. If a man is sleeping with men and women who cares. Let people live their lives is all I am saying and advocate telling everyone to protect themselves and stop blaming one person.

What are your thoughts on this?