Who Is Octavia...

Who is Octavia Y. Lewis, MPA, and what makes her who she is? Octavia often struggles with this question because at times she tries to be so many things that she forgets to be the most important thing which is human. She often finds herself overcompensating on things so that people can see her as exceptional and or extraordinary when in all honesty, all she ever wanted was to be loved and valued. She is a Black Woman of Transgender Experience living with HIV and has landed on the sentiments of being Beautifully Flawed.

Accepting my HIV

To know her is to either love her or hate her, rarely anything in between. As a human being who is constantly trying to find her place in this world less alone leave her mark, she often finds herself lost in her thoughts. At least in her thoughts, she’s protected from all the things that can cause harm in more ways than one. She has come to accept and realize that HIV will be her partner for life and while they have a tumultuous relationship, she’s learned to cohabitate with each other.

Lessons learned

HIV has taught her many valuable lessons that none of her degrees could have ever taught her. It taught her how to find value in herself and made her realize that if she doesn’t learn to love herself then how could she ever expect anyone else to do so. One thing that HIV has never done was leave her side even though many times she prayed for its extinction from her life and the lives of others with who it cohabitates.

Value in mistakes

So no, she isn’t perfect and is still in transition with her emotional and physical aspects and don’t see an end in sight. She has learned from her many mistakes how to be patient and vulnerable all while being aware of other intentions. She finds herself in a place full of everything and nothing all at the same time because she’s realized that this relationship with HIV can and will take you many places.

Self-love and HIV

So, if you have learned anything or nothing at all from her, please know that it's ok to be you. Know that in being you, you can be fractured and yet whole but either way, your existence is still valuable and worthy of love and respect. These are some of the things that have aided her in her acceptance of her cohabitation with HIV. She knows that she will forever be changing and evolving until she takes her final breath, so be gentle with her because she’s still fragile even though she appears tough. Lastly, I Am Octavia Y. Lewis, MPA.