No one to talk to...

I am writing this hoping to hear from someone that has or is experiencing what I am....

The most amazing human

I met my husband in 2006. He is five years older than me. I'll be 50 in May. He was the most amazing human I have ever met. He was everything a person should be. Kind, smart, caring, loving, patient, generous, strong, understanding, gentle, open-minded.... He made you want to be a better person. Everyone I introduced him to felt the same. He was healthy. Wasn't on any medication. His younger siblings both have various health issues and take medication.

Beginning symptoms

Around 2014 he hadn't been feeling 100%. He went to his doctor she found nothing. He went to a different specialist. Finally one of them had him stick out his tongue. He had thrush. She advised he see his doctor the next day. We did. Took test. He was positive. We went to a hospital that has experience with HIV.

His first test his T-cell count was 19 nineteen. We thought it meant he was going to die within a month. We were wrong thank God. He got on three medications to save his life. He had other health issues from taking those three meds and started taking meds to help with those new health issues. And on and on and on.

Not the same person

Today I believe he takes 20 pills every day. But nothing about my husband is the same. He is 100% a different person. He doesn't cook the same, drive the same. He's not kind or caring or giving or strong. I could go on. It has been seven years of him changing.

I figure out a couple months ago, he quit working because of pain in his hands. He doesn't have people to his house or go visit anyone. He comes from a family that put their head in the sand and act like nothing has changed. I live with him part time. But we have been separated for 4 years. He is mean and cruel and selfish and hateful. The person he is now I would never of went on a second date.

What is the reason for this change?

I believe it is because of all his medications. I also believe his mental health is declining. Because he is not around anyone on a regular basis other than myself. I have no one to ask if they see what I see. I am past the point of frustration and screaming for someone anyone for help. I don't know what to do from here. I'm planning on leaving in a few months but I hate to leave this person alone.

Interested in sharing your thoughts about living with HIV?