HIV and Dating

Last updated: June 2022

Dating as an HIV-positive and bisexual individual has been a turbulent rollercoaster and uncertain road for me. Yes, it is now a chronic condition, but the stigma and certain "myths" of HIV unfortunately still exist.

Disclosing my HIV status

That being said, I sometimes wonder what is the bigger elephant in the room when I begin dating someone; disclosing that I am positive? Or having the "talk" and everything that entails?

For me it is easier to say "I am HIV positive" than having to deal with the possible relationship coming to an end, solely because of my positive HIV status. Yet, I do find a somewhat variance of difference in reaction and the direction things take moving forward, if I am disclosing my positive status to a woman or to a man.

Intimacy and dating

There are various reasons for this but in a vacuum many times it comes down to the intimacy part of a dating relationship. There is obviously the need for consistent use of protection; and as a long-term relationship grows, as does the trust, both want to enjoy the option of forgoing the use of protection.

U=U and PrEP

An undetectable viral load and PrEP has given more pause for personal and individual consideration for the negative dating partner, swinging the door open for negative individuals to date someone with HIV; yet the continued stigma of this chronic condition causes a continual opening and closing of this door, and poses the horrible and heartless internal question. Do I want to be known as the one dating a person who has HIV?

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