I’m suicidal and need help.
I just found out I’m positive and am suicidal. I need help. The only way out of this is to end it all. I’m planning to overdose and fall asleep and not wake up. I can’t tell anyone. I found out through a home test after having symptoms for 6 months straight. I don’t have a car. Telling anyone in my family isn’t an option. I have no one to take me to all the necessary appointments for treatment and if I tell anyone I will have nowhere to live. I’m just going to do a large amount of heroin and not wake up. I know my family will be less ashamed of me if I die than they would be if I told them I got this. I got this from a sexual assault by my manager at my job at the time. I was too scared to tell anyone about the assault for fear of losing my job. Now I find out he gave me HIV. My life ended that day and I had no idea. I hope my family knows I love them.
Inbox me. I'm on Facebook. Don't hurt yourself!!! It's going to be ok. I was diagnosed Sept 6 2000. I was only less than a month away from my 39th! Had to tell my husband before I could leave the hospital! On the phone! Horrible! My Husband never got it. If you kill yourself you will hurt your family bad. There are meds now that cause little side effects. I'm on a one pill a day regimen. I live a normal life and you can too for years. Not a death sentence it used to be. There is support. Your not alone. This is not your fault and I think your family would support you. Please if you don't message me get support!
I was hoping for a sooner response or some advice. This page is really less help than I expected. I’m literally crying out for help and have no one. I’m so sick today. I can’t keep down any food and have vertigo really bad. Any time I fall asleep I wake up to my limbs being completely numb. I’m definitely going to overdose. This life is not worth trying to live or suffering.
Hi
, I am sorry you didn't get a sooner response. I am sending you a private message with some information as well, but please let us know what we can do to support. Like Janegoethel said, there are so many here who have lived long lives with their diagnosis and would like to share their stories with you.
Being newly diagnosed can be so difficult and you aren't alone in the way you are feeling. I think the best support is others living with HIV, and this may be a good place to start to hear their stories - https://h-i-v.net/newly-diagnosed . While there are painful and incorrect messages about HIV out there, there are many who are living long and healthy lives. We can help you through those first few steps of finding treatment.
It sounds like you’re dealing with really overwhelming emotions. While we’re not professional counselors, I’ve sent you some resources in a private message. This is a safe space to vent and I'm really glad you're here. I will be watching for your reply tonight and we'll be sure we are more timely in our responses. All my best, Liz (Team Member)For anyone following the thread, this community member has been in touch and is doing better. - Liz (Team Member)
