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Hi. I've been stressed out lately due to the fact that I kept on thinking I have HIV plus I had symptoms years ago, like 8-9 years ago.
I don't know about HIV before and I was this ignorant adult who had unprotected sex in 2013 with someone I like. We did it for months. Then we just parted ways. Then in 2015 and 2016 I also had an affair and did unprotected sex.
I would like to tell you about my experiences which I just found through too much googling are symptoms of hiv/aids.
I had these severe cough which lasted for 2 to 3 weeks (not sure anymore), a small wart near my left inner thigh which is like a mole, mouth ulcers, and a terrible headache. I went for a check up and the doctor just prescribed me a med. I am also having a really bad stomach ache which makes me vomit and prevents me from eating. The stomach ache comes and goes but it wasn't really that bad. I occassionally have it. I don't remember which comes first with these symptoms and sickness. Later on I had hives every night for 2-3 days I guess. Then, one night I had these big spots that are itchy which started at my tummy or below my breast and then at my back. I put vaseline then they just disappear. I don't remember how long they lasted but it was only a short period of time. 3 days maybe. Then I had lip blisters. All those symptoms I experience between 2016 to 2018.
I had my CBC in 2018 and the doctor ask me if I take antibiotics. I don't and she ask me to have it repeated which I didn't follow.
Then in 2019, I was sent to ER thrice for having a severe stomach ache. They took blood sample and didn't detect the cause. I became sick to the point that everything I eat makes my stomache ache. I lose too much weight. Then on my 3rd time being sent to ER, the doctor advice me to have an ultrasound check.
I had an ultrasound and get the result. I read it and didn't know I had gallstones until one time, I was rushed again coz I've been vomitting bile already. I later on found out that the result tells me I had cholecystitis. I had my gallbladder removed and after that, I've felt so much better. But, I still worry about something. I had another physical exam and it says in my CBC I have low monocytes (monocytopenia). My WBC is normal but it is my monocyte that is low. I hope you get what I mean. Maybe it's a similar result back in 2018. But I am so much better than before. It is already 2022 and I feel so much better. I don't experience any symptoms now.
Now, I don't know what have gotten into me. I am so stressed. As I mentioned earlier, it is because of too much googling that I am thinking too much that I might have hiv/aids.
I talked to the guys I had sex with and ask them if they got sick in the past years. They are perfectly fine. The other one has 2 children already and no signs and symptoms at all. The other one is also fine and told me if he is sick, then the girl he had sex with should also be sick. She has a child now.
Should I really be worried? Should I take the test even if it has been 8-9 years already? I need encouragement, please. I'm actually scared. I know I've been a sinner. But I've changed so much since and my last affair was 2016.
Thank you so much.
I'm glad you wrote because this is a non-judgmental environment and we want to be able to support you. We don't see you as a sinner, just someone who is looking for answers. There are many incorrect messages about HIV/AIDS that can make people feel so scared and even make it hard for people to get tested. It doesn't sound like your past partners experienced the same symptoms or have told you that they had a detectable HIV viral load when you were together. Is there anything else that makes you feel concerned? Here's some basic info about risk: https://h-i-v.net/transmission
The truth is, the CDC recommends everyone get regularly tested for HIV, so if you have never been tested before it should just be part of your health routine. What do you think? This is a great place to start: https://h-i-v.net/living/testing-quiz . I like what one of our patient leaders said once: "Sometimes people may be hesitant to obtain an HIV test out of fear of unwanted results or simply not knowing what to expect in the testing room. Like any new activity, the more you engage, the easier it becomes. Eventually, testing will simply be a part of your normal health screening routine." – Shaina, H-I-V.net Advocate
I hope this helps you get started. Keep us posted! - Liz (Team Member)
Hi. It's understandable to be stressed about a possible diagnosis. I was in the same situation in 1991 when a doctor told me my white blood count was so low I probably was HIV positive. I didn't take a test at first, but I felt a sense of relief when I did. For me, it was better to know than to guess.
The great news is that treatment options have improved, and people can live rich, productive lives with HIV.
Do you have access to anonymous testing or any HIV services near you? Please check back in and let us know how you are doing.
Alafia (Peace) Clear I really appreciate you taking the time to reach out with your concerns. It seems like you have already received some great advice. The only way it seems you can resolve this is by getting tested. Have you taken the time to get tested yet? Anything you share here is safe here. Khafre (H-I-V.net Team Member)
Alafia (Peace) A few months have passed and I wanted to reach out to see how you are doing. I wonder have you been able to use the advice which was shared with you. Please let us know. Khafre (H-I-V.net Team Member)
