Maintaining a relationship after diagnosis

I'm so glad you reached out. Being recently diagnosed can be a lot to face, and on top of it it sounds like you are also dealing with some relationship stress. We definitely have several advocates who have written about their experiences. Every relationship is different, so I'll list a few perspectives here from different couples and you can see if you relate to any of them.


- https://h-i-v.net/living/serostatus-relationship
- https://h-i-v.net/living/magnetic-couples





Please keep us posted on how you are doing, not just in terms of your relationship, but for you as you start treatment and process this diagnosis. I have seen the power that connecting with others living with HIV can have, so I suggest combatting the overwhelming information on the internet with this simple article, advice from our advocates: https://h-i-v.net/answers/coping-new-diagnosis


Best,
Liz (Team Member)

Hello.

When I first found out about my diagnosis, I was at the end of a saga that included me being cheated on for months. As one can imagine, I was devastated. When I began to date again, I was so afraid of what that may look like to others. I was also afraid of any terrible heartbreak. In this period, I learned a lot about myself. I started dating, casually, to understand myself and others disposition more. About a year in, I started dated someone seriously. At first, I did not share my status, but eventually, I knew that this was someone I was building an intimate relationship with. When he found out about my diagnosis, he was more upset with the world that I had it. And he was accepting (as it sounds your girlfriend is). We spoke about many things, how this may affect our future sexual relationship. . .and even how this may affect our future lives together.



I think the most important thing for relationships in these scenarios is to take the time, as a couple, to research and talk about any concerns that may affect either of you. Opening dialogue between you, and your partner may help you both overcome any shortcomings you may have experienced with the diagnosis (and feelings she may have). I think it's important to try to tackle those tough conversations together.


In all of this, I hope you remember that you are worthy of a beautiful, safe, supportive love. And a true love will always choose you over your status.


I hope the coming days find you well, and if you ever need support - we are here.


-Ze (Team Member)

Alafia (Peace) Give her a minute to catch her breath. Be honest and allow her to go with you to your appointments with your provider. Khafre (H-I-V.net Team Member)

I was diagnosed positive and my ex-husband was diagnosed negative (and is negative to this day). We are not separated now because of my status, let me specify that. The very first thing to do is for both of you to get educated. So many of us do not truly know the real information about HIV until it is a part of our lives.
It is important to be very open with one another. Stay strong and try not to be offended if she asks you a question or wants help researching. It is actually a good thing when this happens. Sometimes it can be helpful for her to go with you to your doctor appointments.
She should get a prescription for PREP. My ex took Truvada. This is a medication he took everyday, just like I took/take my antiviral everyday. Until you are undetectable, it is very important to practice safer sex options. When you become undetectable, you can discuss Undetectable = Untransmitable with your doctor and your girlfriend, prior to making any changes.
Feel free to reach out if you have more questions. The community here is great. Keep us updated with how you/yall are doing. Sending strength - Heather Renee (team member)