Anxiety & Possible Exposure
Hello Everyone,
This may be long-winded, but here goes...
About a month ago I had protected sex with someone I didn't know. However, I clearly remember them acting VERY strange before we had sex. I asked them many times if they were OK, expressing that we didn't have to have sex. Verbally, they insisted, despite the energy I received from them. I just can't get over how strange they were acting. It's almost as if they were hiding something from me. My fear is that they had HIV and the condom could've broke, or that I cut myself while shaving my pubic hair and forgot, leaving an opening for the virus to get in. Or I wonder if they had an open sore in their mouth that I didn't know about.
Anyways, it's about a month later and I'm convinced I'm having acute HIV symptoms. I noticed brief episodes of nausea and headaches starting a few weeks ago. At first I thought it was caffeine withdrawal (I drink a lot of coffee). But then I started having dull groin pain on one side, which has gotten worse. Then I started having muscular/joint aches and pains, specifically in my lower back and knees. My tongue is a little yellow, with weird yellowish blotches on my upper gums. I also notice some white spots on my tonsils. Other than that, I've had very watery diarrhea for the last few days. Granted, I've had the bad habit of eating a lot of White Castle recently. Other than that, I feel more winded than usual; a lump-in-the-throat feeling; no noticeable rash, but I'm convinced I've seen mild reddening on my face.
It's worth mentioning that I think I've found a small wart in the pubic-hair region. At first I thought it was an ingrown hair. I realize this probably has more to do with HPV if anything, but I digress...
Anyways, I've been panicking. It seems like some of the symptoms reduce when I calm down. I also have a history of diagnosed non-specific OCD. It really just latches onto whatever it wants, depending on circumstances.
Despite knowing it wouldn't work because it's too soon, I took an at-home rapid test. The result was negative. I'm going to the doctor Monday, but based on what I've been reading, the test they give still might be inconclusive due to "window period." I'm seeing someone and have been avoiding them because I don't want to cause unnecessary panic, especially if this is all in my head.
Anyways, some support would help.
Thanks
It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of anxiety around this, and that is understandable. It can be so alarming to have symptoms and not know what is going on in your body. While we cannot give specific medical advice, I can give you some information that I hope will ease your mind. I am glad you are seeing your doctor Monday and hopefully, that will ease your mind. It sounds like you aren't sure about this person's status and also that you used a condom which also would have reduced the risk of transmission. I gather that you have been able to link some of these symptoms with anxiety and/or OCD in the past. What else do you find helps you when you're experiencing stress like this?
You mentioned the window period, and that is correct. After one month you would be within that window. HIV tests taken 6 months after a potential exposure are 99.9 percent accurate. If your HIV tests were taken 6 months post-exposure, you can trust the results.- Liz (Team Member)
Alafia (Peace) We want to offer you support. It seems as if you are doing all the right things to determine if you have seroconverted. I suggest you wait until after the window period to get tested again. Please stay in touch and reach back out to us. Let us know what kind of support you need. Khafre (H-I-V.net Team Member)
