caret icon Back to all discussions

How can I support my HIV positive partner?

Hello everyone, hope everyone is staying safe out there! So; I will begin by saying that I am HIV negative, but I fell in love with someone who is positive. He is the most amazing man, and his status has never concerned me because I am a firm believer that love is love. We met right after Covid got bad, so we’ve never even met in person out of fear for his health and the health of his mother he cares for. A year of talking, letters (emails but he likes to call them letters 🥰), FaceTime, videos, texting all day everyday. Well; circumstances have changed with the vaccine. He is now fully vaccinated, and so am I. We decided to finally meet face to face, in a big way really. We’re spending the night together. It’s something I’ve dreamed of since that first message, but the pandemic kept us apart. Now that we can be together, I am so anxious. He’s a “long hauler”, and not quite undetectable but his numbers are very low and he is in perfect physical shape. I am on pre exposure prophylaxis, and he does well with his ART. I am not concerned about him infecting me, but he is very concerned. We’ve had plenty of talk building up to this moment (one week from tomorrow), but now that plans are made his fears of giving me HIV have returned. I was hoping to get some advice on how to help him feel more at ease, because somehow (didn’t think such a thing was possible) I fell in love with this man without even having the opportunity to kiss him yet. He spent most of his adult life believing he was unloveable due to his status, and I want to make him comfortable.

  1. Hi

    It sounds like you and this person have something that could be truly magical, and you are already keeping the lines of communication open-- which is important. Just wondering, have you spoke with your physician, or his about the chances given the precautions you both are taking? Is using protection an option?

    Wishing you the best.

    -Ze (Team Member)

    1. Hi ,

      I wanted to check in to see how you are doing. It sounds like you and this person have really connected, which is wonderful. If you or he have questions about transmission, here are a few articles:

      Info on PREP:
      Info on transmission:

      Thanks for being part of the community!

      Liz (Team Member)

      1. Alafia (Peace) What an incredible love story. First I suggest you take it slowly. Set boundaries for your intimate interaction. Continue to share your thoughts on how you feel and talk about how you both are taking steps to ensure that you both stay safe. With you on PrEP and him on ART add using condoms to your toolbox and continue to love each other. Khafre (Team Member)

        1. I’m also HIV negative, I love hearing stories like this! You’re right- love is love. Also, U=U Maybe I’ll be in the same scenario one day, I keep an open mind and maybe my ‘person’ is out there, regardless of their status.

          1. Alafia (Peace) Great to hear from you. I am sure your person is out there. We just have to be open to the possibilities. Khafre ( Team Member)

        Please read our rules before posting.