Family Is Love

By Davina Conner

2 min read

Family is love. It is a sense of great loyalty for the people in your life that you cherish. Family stands by who you are, the way you live, supporting you always; and no matter what, they are there for you.

Why pick and choose how to love us?

So, what happens when you find out that you are living with HIV and you are struggling with it? Along with fighting mentally about sharing it with your family?

If family is love, then why do some pick and choose how to love you when they find out you are living with HIV? Or when they find out that you are gay or they find out you are transgender? You, as a person, still have the same heart before they knew any of this. It makes me wonder about who is considered family.

What truly makes people our family?

Family is love, right? This means anyone close to you can be family, especially when you are treated like family.

Sometimes, we think or feel that the ones who have been there since childhood, the ones who feed us, took us to school, nurtured us, and played with us are supposed to be there for us forever. But, it does not always work out that way when society has blinded them to believe that they should shut a person out, stigmatize, or discriminate against who they are.

What happened to the powerful bond that keeps the family close? Well, it’s not always blood that keeps family together. It’s not who you brushed your teeth with every morning as a child and it’s not because he calls you his sister or you call him your brother. Just because we are told that does not make it so.

Family can be anyone we choose

Family is love. And if that is true, then family can be anyone we choose. If you lose the blood relatives or family that you bonded with as a kid, remember there is another family out there in this world who will love you unconditionally no matter who you are.

Family can be who you make it to be as long as it feels right, as long as you feel that sense of belonging, security, and support you deserve.

We live in a world that often doesn't accept us. They want you to be who they want you to be or live how they want you to live. Some of them tell us that should just not tell that "HIV secret" because they are ashamed of how they might be looked at by friends.

I say don’t harp on the negative energy they give to you. Move past it, because there is so much love from others out there waiting just for you. Family is love. That means anyone that you love can be a strong, emotionally supportive person, and they love you right back, no matter what.

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Heather Renee Moderator & Contributor
<inline-mention username="Davina Conner" user-id="2047729"/> Your articles are always so insightful. I love this article so much. It really hits home for me and I am sure for so many others. The old saying that blood is thicker than water has been proven wrong for so many people. I cannot help but love the people who do not share the same blood as me, but love me to death. You are right in the idea that we should let go of those who want to shame us and look for the new family that is out there somewhere waiting on us. - Heather (Team Member)
1. Davina Conner Contributor
 <inline-mention username="Heather Renee" user-id="2045676"/> Thank you, Heather... It's not always blood or those we grew up with we all can develop special relationships with other people who share our views and who have been what we have been through.. Family is love no matter who it is.. Right?
2. Heather Renee Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="Davina Conner" user-id="2047729"/> Most definitely! Some of my best "family members" do not share any blood with me! - Heather z(team member)
Khafre Kujichagulia Abif Moderator
Alafia (Peace) <inline-mention username="Davina Conner" user-id="2047729"/> This sounds really personal. It touched me and it made me cry reflecting on the loss of blood family after my diagnosis and the losses of chosen family to this disease. Now I a socially isolated and so lonely. I long for family. Khafre (Team Member)
Davina Conner Contributor
It is personal Khafre, a lot of us have lost family or even friends due to diagnosis but we have also lost loved ones just because we have realized they don't deserve to be in our lives anymore. when they start to cause pain on us mentally there is no need to have them around. I do miss those who are not in my life anymore, but I know it was for the best. I am so sorry you cry my friend and I wish I could take that away I have also found myself socially isolating it is a very lonely feeling so I do what I can to make myself feel better. Since you are a writer pick up that pen and write about it I am sure it will help and if you cry while writing it's a good thing to let those feelings out. HUGS to you from a distance