a mouth disclosing HIV status to a variety of ears

The Way I Look at Disclosure

Last updated: September 2022

While some people are very open with their status, some individuals like me are not. There are many times when I envy those who are open to everybody. There seems to be a sense of confidence built up within them that I wish I had, especially around my health conditions.

Even though I am not open with everybody about my status, I still have people to whom I feel the need to disclose my status. I know that somebody in my world needs to know in case I get hurt.

Disclosing HIV status to family

I do not feel like I am obligated to disclose my status to everybody in my family. There are family members that know but this is mainly because my situation was so bad at the time of my diagnosis that the doctors could not tell me. They told my husband and he let my mom and sister in on the information.

I am not mad at him about this outcome. Of the people in my family, they are the best people to know about my situation. They also understand the importance of keeping my status to ourselves. People in my sister’s life know that I have something wrong with my immune system and it is let as that.

This means that there is a whole, big portion of my family that does not know about my status. Personally, I do not feel the obligation to tell them because I know how they will react. It will cause more drama than it will do good.

If something happens to me, the family members who do know will be able to inform doctors.

Disclosing HIV status to friends

I do not feel the need to disclose my status to all my friends. I have two very close friends that are aware of my status.

This provides me with somebody to discuss the ins and outs of living with HIV but keeps my circle to a trustworthy level.

I also did not have to worry about how these individuals would react to finding out about my status. I knew they would still care for me and be my friend just like before they knew.

Dating and HIV

When it comes to dating, I feel an obligation to disclose my status before things get physical.

I honestly do not know if it is a law in my state, but I feel it is more of a moral obligation, to me.

I have always preferred to build a relationship with somebody prior to having things turn physical. This does allow me to have time to get to know the individual before needing to disclose.

Disclosing to anybody

I make sure that when I do disclose to someone, I am armed with information.

There are so many HIV myths and false information out there that it is important to have real true information. It is also important to have the time to answer somebody's questions.

Some people have more questions than others, but it is best to take the time to answer all of their questions.

What are your views on disclosing?

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