Esteem Beliefs

By Heather Renee

3 min read

Self-esteem is an important component of our individual selves and has a correlation with our mental health. An individual’s self-esteem makes up for how we feel about ourselves, our bodies, our worth, and our relationships.¹

We all have esteem beliefs related to ourselves and related to other people.

Developing self-esteem

We all have an underlying basic human need to be understood, respected, and taken seriously by other people, especially those around us. A positive sense of self-esteem provides individuals with a feeling of self-confidence. This self-confidence allows them to feel comfortable in making decisions and in their own opinions.

There are certain experiences that can lead individuals to develop a negative self-esteem. Some examples of such experiences include:

Believing other people’s negative statements about you
Receiving little care or support from others
Being criticized or blamed by others

Somebody with strong positive self-esteem can maintain their esteem despite the negative experiences previously mentioned. When the self-esteem is low, the individual is going to believe those thoughts.

Esteem belief related to others

A separate component of our esteem is related to how we value other people. When we have healthy esteem beliefs towards others, we have realistic views of other people. On the other hand, when we have unhealthy esteem beliefs towards others, we believe stereotyped beliefs of others. The stereotyped beliefs we believe are relatively unchanged by new information we may receive.

Some symptoms of negative esteem beliefs about others include:

Chronic anger
Cynicism
Disbelief when treated with genuine caring compassion
Antisocial behavior

I believe the phrase you cannot love somebody else unless you love yourself, builds off our esteem beliefs related to ourselves and others.

Self-esteem beliefs and mental health

While having low self-esteem is not a mental health disorder, it can lead to mental health disorders. Such disorders could include anxiety and depression, shame, addiction, and personality disorders. Additionally, low self-esteem beliefs can cause individuals to accept poor relationships with other people.

The combination of low self-esteem and negative relationships can create a vicious cycle. An individual with low self-esteem may end up in an abusive relationship because they do not think they deserve a better partner. On the other hand, an individual in an abusive relationship may end up with low self-esteem because their partner is constantly telling them negative things about them.

My personal esteem beliefs and HIV

Currently, I am aware that I have low personal self-esteem beliefs about myself and some low esteem beliefs about other people. I have personality traits that indicate low self-esteem.

These traits include:

I apologize too much for things that are not my fault or that I had no control over
My mood changes easily
I become depressed easily
I avoid conflict and arguments at all costs

Despite everything, I am aware that I have low esteem beliefs and I work on myself and my thoughts. It is not always easy, but it is necessary to improve my life. I consciously take action to build my esteem beliefs.

These actions include:

Practicing the giving and receiving of compliments (receiving compliments is still hard for me)
Complimenting others for something unrelated to their looks
Doing a little something nice for myself every day
Acknowledge the things I am good at
Building positive relationships
Learning to be assertive (I have started this by focusing on learning to say NO when needed)

Our self-esteem can affect so many aspects of our lives and mental health. Self-esteem and esteem towards others are important to balance.

How is your self-esteem and esteem towards others?

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The H-I-V.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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Ze Moderator & Contributor
 Hi <inline-mention username="Heather Renee" user-id="2045676"/> I think it's beautiful that you acknowledge the things that you know will affect you negatively. The hard aspects are not beautiful but knowing where you need to improve to live a better life is beautiful. I, too, struggle with self-esteem and understanding how it will affect my mood and my mental is very important. I believe my self-esteem issues did stem from believing other's beliefs of me over my own; and there's the possibility that trauma did not help my self-esteem. I think the things you are doing are great, as I also believe self-care is one of the most important aspects in remembering to love yourself. I have also tried to add positive self-talk when I am in the mirror. When I am doing my makeup or my hair, I try to give myself compliments and tell myself "I love you". It seems a little silly but it's helped quite a bit. I also try to change my negative thoughts before bed. If my mind is racing at night with negative things or stress, I try to talk over myself and tell myself "You're beautiful, You're strong. . ."etc etc. I wish you the best of luck in your self-love journey. I appreciate you for always sharing with us! -Ze (H-I-V.net Team Member)
1. Heather Renee Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="Ze" user-id="2048448"/> I love your self-affirmations!! I need to start doing that myself. I can see how it could be helpful. I think we must take an active role in creating our self-esteem. We also need to be aware of how others around us affect our self-esteem. By paying attention to this, we will learn which people in our lives are good and which are potentially toxic. I truly felt like this article was an important one and ended up taking my time in writing and then submitting it. - Heather (team member)
Khafre Kujichagulia Abif Moderator
Alafia (Peace) <inline-mention username="Heather Renee" user-id="2045676"/>, Thank you for sharing this piece with us. Esteem is so critical to how we deal with things. You have laid out absolutely great points to think about. I appreciate you. Khafre (H-I-V.net Team Member)
1. Heather Renee Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="Khafre Kujichagulia Abif" user-id="2046187"/> Thank you so much for taking the time to read my article and comment! I just hope this article can help steer somebody in the right direction - Heather (team member)