Community Hierarchy: Social Bias in the LGBTQ+ Community

Stigma, in my opinion, is a complex and formidable obstacle hindering the eradication of new HIV transmissions. Its pervasive nature, deeply ingrained in our society, stems from the fear that emerged in the 1980s, fueled by homophobia, racism, and has persisted to this day.

HIV was erroneously labeled as a "gay disease," leading to the stigmatization of LGBTQ+ individuals. This harmful association persists in certain circles, despite the fact that HIV affects people of all sexual orientations and gender identities, creating a challenging path for individuals not only to survive but also to thrive with HIV.

It can be difficult for individuals outside the LGBTQIA+ community to grasp the extent of stigma within our spaces. Our community has lost countless loved ones, family members, and elders to a devastating plague. Yet, despite the scientific advancements of U=U and PrEP, the plague of stigma continues to ravage our community.

Marginalized and stigmatized

I believe this is a common occurrence among marginalized communities. It is a manifestation of the ideology of white supremacy, the belief in the superiority of one group over others, destined to aspire to belong to the "superior" group. It is the plague of assimilation, the danger of believing that queerness revolves around heteronormativity.

This creates a hierarchy, with those who impose restrictions like "masculine-only" labeling individuals who deviate from these "superior" qualities as inferior.

Fighting intolerance

When I was younger, I faced criticism from those around me who deemed my hair and mannerisms too "gay." They told me I needed to learn to blend in. However, I soon realized that fitting in does not equate to belonging.

During my teenage years, after fervently praying that God would make me straight and hoping he would remove my attraction to men, I came to understand that being different was a gift. My uniqueness was a blessing to be celebrated, not villainized.

This foundation of belief gave me the courage to openly live with HIV. My truth is something to be lived loudly because of private conversations I have had, I know that by doing so, it allows others to live freely.

A voice - not a victim

However, not everyone is supportive. There are certain people I called friends who I never hear from, and there are others who questioned whether I was sure about being on a TV commercial or in ad campaigns for the scrutiny it would inevitably bring.

To me, secrets are like chains that keep you from living freely, and it is my personal goal to live fully, as the person I am — flawed, brave, sometimes bruised, but never broken. This is how I approach most things in life because I believe that if you can say the things others fear to whisper, you become a voice and not a victim.

Take the blinders off

I previously shared a personal experience of a date that went awry. Someone who should have been knowledgeable about issues like U=U rejected me as a potential partner. While they may have believed they were protecting themselves, I believe they were actually harming themselves.

When we push away and reject individuals with different experiences, we limit our own growth and perspectives. We restrict ourselves to the idea that only one thing can be true. However, my belief has always been that the more I embrace and learn from others, the more I expand as a human being.

Overcoming HIV social bias in the LGBTQ+ community

We have a lot of room to grow in the LGBTQ+ community. To be the inclusive and compassionate community we hope to foster, we need to expand beyond HIV stigma. We need to create a world where we all are free to live, regardless of HIV status, with dignity and pride, in whatever that means to each of us.

Because, at the end of the day, liberation for all marginalized communities means until all of us are free, none of us are.