Supporting Women Is Not Happening

By Davina Conner

2 min read

I mentioned in a previous article how there are a lot of people who live with HIV who do not feel supported at all or maybe it was an article on how advocates need support.

Anyhow over the past few months, many women have reached out to me who live with HIV more so than ever. A lot of them are not open with their HIV and feel so lonely. Although some of the ladies are connected with ASOs (AIDS Service Organizations) they still do not feel supported at all.

When I was first diagnosed

I can remember when I was first told that I tested positive for HIV and how lost I was, how scared I was, and how I did not feel that anyone could utterly understand what I was dealing with. For so many years I suffered in silence and pretended everything was okay, but I was so broken inside and lonely.

There were no women around to which I could relate. And no one can say how someone should deal with their diagnosis, but I know that there needs to be much more support for all women living with HIV.

Stigma and discrimination for women

It seems that when we speak up about supporting women more it gets swept under the rug. And it can be overwhelming to get so many women who reach out and just need some support. Stigma and discrimination hit us so much differently along with our internal battles (self-stigma) fighting with ourselves to not believe what others say.

Feelings of being rejected by loved ones, mental and physical abuse (partner violence), and still dealing with being a nurturing woman, wife, mother, and friend while working through our mental health issues because of our diagnosis. Who is there for the women who are hurting and scared? Where are the states with support groups for women?

HIV doesn't just affect men

We keep hearing women need support and then we may see conferences have some sessions for women, but they go nowhere after that. We are still not represented as we should be, and they say representation matters. I guess it only matters when you are not a woman.

Why are the small women’s community-based organizations for HIV not being supported as much? To whom do we get these answers? Are our communities afraid of how well we will do in our endeavors? HIV does not only affect men, yes, but I also said it because someone has to say it!

Other social determinants that affect women

Some women live with HIV who are homeless as well, and that leads to mediocre quality of life and then not being able to stay in care and their states fail to do anything about this. I thought we were supposed to be focusing on the needs of a person who lives with HIV.

If this is the case, then why aren’t women who live with HIV needs being met? Especially since we know that suicide rates are higher in people who are living with HIV.

I speak from my heart and experiences as an advocate.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The H-I-V.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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CommunityMember921574 Member
Thank for this article. I feel so alone most of the time. This actually helps to know I'm not alone. 
1. Davina Conner Contributor
 <inline-mention username="CommunityMember921574" user-id="4336684"/> I know at times you may feel alone but please know we are all here for you in this community. We never want you to feel alone.
2. Khafre Kujichagulia Abif Moderator
 <inline-mention username="CommunityMember921574" user-id="4336684"/> Alafia (Peace) You are not alone. Khafre (H-I-V.net Team Member)
Robert Brunet Contributor
<inline-mention username="Davina Conner" user-id="2047729"/> great article on an important topic. So vital to remember that our community is diverse with different needs and each person has a voice that needs to be heard!
Davina Conner Contributor
Absolutely <inline-mention username="Robert Brunet" user-id="2047863"/>
Heather Renee Moderator & Contributor
<inline-mention username="Davina Conner" user-id="2047729"/> This article definitely hits home for me. I also feel like women living with HIV are under-supported. We are underrepresented in the media as well. it seems that almost all HIV support is intended for men and largely the LGBTQ community of men. I previously wrote an article about the impact of HIV on Heterosexual Women. That article may resonate with some women here. https://h-i-v.net/living/heterosexual-women I do want you to know that you are an amazing advocate for us women. I enjoy reading all of your articles. Thank you for bringing the attention to us! Best wishes - Heather R (team member)
1. Davina Conner Contributor
 <inline-mention username="Heather Renee" user-id="2045676"/> I will read your article and yes most definitely we are underrepresented often. It becomes frustrating but we must keep talking about it, Heather. We matter and our voices matter too. We speak up, we are told we are complaining for nothing but how can one understand if they are not the ones being forgotten about?
2. Khafre Kujichagulia Abif Moderator
 Alafia (Peace) <inline-mention username="Heather Renee" user-id="2045676"/> It's great to see women offering support for one another. Your article definitely highlights the need for more visibility among women. Khafre (H-I-V.net Team Member)
Khafre Kujichagulia Abif Moderator
Alafia (Peace) Davina Conner, Speak your peace Sistah. I am still amazed that after all this time women are not getting the support they need. Your voice is so very important to raising awareness about the needs of women. Keep it up. Khafre (H-I-V.net Team Member)

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