by surprise I found myself hiv

Hey everyone.
Here is my story with HIV, back 2018 I travelled to Asia for first time and I liked it very much specially Philippine. I was had alot sex and mostly were protected but i remember I had 3 unprotected sex which truly caused me high doubt and I was very irritating because of it. Last week of my journey in Asia as I spent 3 months, I fallen sick in manila with a terrible fiver & flu symptom, I also remember that I lost consciousness one morning as I remain sick over a week and they pharmacy wouldn't give me medicen due they require prescription, so I beared all pain and sickness within 10days and I got covered, First thing I did when I get back home. I went to HIV center and I did test and it was negative, I was Glad but still doubted so I explained everything to guy who did test to me and he recommanded me to return after 3 months which I did. Next result was unclear so I couldn't understand him well and he advice me to do test again but for unknown reasons I haven t done it.... From 2018 untill 2022 I have been Good expect I was sleeping alot, more then usual. I also started to snork while sleeping in a very crazy way which started to disturbed my family and even people among me so I checked with doctor and he stated that you have nothing serious but you need to remove throat and I was like No, why would I do it as I am 36y old. I saw another doctor and noone of them could help me out, by the way I am marocan and health sector in my country's just a nightmare. Anyway when summer comes in 2022 I decided to travel and my passport was expired so I had to renew it Inculde my id card while i was doing it, I submitted all docas and they asks me to return within 2 hours so I went out and I saw the HIV center which was closed to me, so I though to do test as usual becaused I started doing test there since 2008 and because of Corona virus I haven't did it 2019/2020/2021 so in 2022 it was just by sudden as I was close to them and here the surprise expolded, the guy Says your status is Positive and I was like 😁 are you serious dude? This time the guy who s doing test is a Gay who I though he wanted to joke with me but at same time this is not place for joke. He re-confirm again result was positive and to be sure 100% we are Going to do a special analyse test which takes 2 weeks and we will call you back, to be Honest I was complete denial and I went myself to a clinic and did urgent hiv test which was expensive but at this moment nothing matter as result showen again positive. 2 confirmed result was not enough for me, I travelled to south of country and did new test thier In HIV center, once test comes up. The nurse Said it seems you know result since you face expression is not similar to other patients. I lied as it was first time I get this shocking news, I went back to the hotel and my brain stops and I decided to remain in complete denial always. Untill I received a call from first center who did the analyses and doctor told me. You need to come down here as I have some news for you? I asked is it good or not although I knew it's bad and he repliee I can t tell over phone. We set up an appointment but I didn I went as I was totally not accepting fact that I got HIV, I was always careful and using condoms but I can t deny that I had some unprotected sex sometimes specially when drunk or at some points where sex comes by sudden and you ain t prepaired.....they kept calling me as I haven t show up and I found one voice message where doctor says your life is at risk and you have chance to save it. This is up to you and this is my last attempte to reach you, ciao.

Once I heard this message I flew directly to doctor & apologized not being a jackass and uncivilized person. Any sickness has cure and any problems has a solution. However HIV does not have cure but at least ART keeps your health statu in a good condition, he explains everything perfectly & I accepted that I have to deal with it but my painful journey started as I had to do ton of analyses and checking with afew doctors.... It was very difficulte time and I was running out of cash so I lended money from my parents and I paid everything and luckly all was good and I started taking medicen last June, took it 2 months and did CD4 it was <40 which is Good but not perfect, now it's been 4 months I am taking Medciens.

I have to tell that noone knows I am HIV expect medical stuff. I must admit that my life changed 360 degree's. Taking meciden was a big iusse as I had to set up alarm over phone and write down note in my room that I have to take medicen everyday at 10AM ...... I believe it's not enough for now, I will write more later on, as new patient I would be very much interested to discuss more points and subjets with old patient of HIV. Friends or someone I can talk to him freely would be awesome. I am giving my hand in name of friendship to all users of this forum