two dating profile images. The left one is a male in silhouette and the right one is a smiling woman with pink hair. Her heart radiates a blue swirly pattern. The background is a pattern of lipstick kiss marks

Using My Facebook Dating Bio to Attract My Ideal Companion

Dating has moved solely to online due to the pandemic. In my last blog, “Finding a Companion in 2021,” I wrote about my desire to connect with others is more intense than it has ever been in my entire life and how the lack of group gatherings has added to the difficulty of accessing in-person interaction.

I also addressed what type of relationship dynamic I am seeking, which you will continue to learn about in this blog, but I advise you to read my last blog.

In this blog, I will be talking about dating online, and I will start with breaking down my Facebook Dating profile since that is my preferred dating app for the time being.

My bio on the Facebook Dating app

I will jump straight into what I wrote for my bio since I believe that’s an essential part of communicating what I’m looking for and giving insight into who I am.

That’s a lot to put into a bio that only allows five hundred words. My bio currently says:

"Seeking a male companion.

I'm a work-orientated female; I invest most of my day empowering people to own their relationships, sexual needs, and personal differences.

Before and after my workday, I’m seeking a sexual and emotional connection to recharge; not having this makes it difficult for me to be present with my work.

I'm attracted to men that care about their and others' well-being and self-development.

He has healthy self-esteem.

Let’s chat; what is something new you learned recently?"

Now, I will break down what my bio means because I know it can seem out of the norm, which can cause confusion.

I’m non-monogamous and sex-positive

I wrote I’m seeking a male companion because I’m sex-positive and I’m non-monogamous; I don’t seek coupleship. A male companion can solely cater to my emotional needs, only my sexual needs, or a mixture of both. It’s a broad term that welcomes all types of open arrangements. Everyone defines companionship differently; this is how I define it. (There will be future blogs where I go more in-depth about what I seek in a companion.)

Next, I talk about what I spend my time doing - I empower people to own their relationship, sexual needs, and personal differences. Including this is an excellent entryway to opening up the conversation around why I’m non-monogamous, sex-positive, and HIV-positive. It also gives a little insight into my character because, since I am also asking for sex, people often associate people who seek sexual encounters to have negative and malicious intentions.

Sexual connection is important to me

Next, I will discuss why having an emotional and sexual connection is needed to do my work effectively. I naturally have a high sex drive and, ideally, I would want to have sex with someone that sexually arouses me. It has been difficult for me to find guys that excite me sexually, so I often have sex with guys for other reasons. (I will go more in-depth about why I have sex with guys that don’t sexually arouse me in future blogs.)

One of those reasons is that I have sex to function throughout the day. When I don’t have sex, I lose my energy to do anything. It took me years to own this reality because society does associate people who have high sexual needs with unfavorable terms, such as labeling us as sex addicts.

Desiring sex isn't malicious

It’s perfectly normal to have a high sex drive and everyone's sex drive is different. It’s important to accept that instead of invalidating others’ needs by associating them to sex-negative terms that are intended to oppress human sexuality.

Desiring sex isn’t malicious; the intention behind "why" determines if it is or not. That’s why I try my best to be transparent about my needs and my character without giving out too much information at once because people can internalize too much information negatively.

It’s really about finding the right balance when introducing ourselves to others; never give too little or too much.

The value of continued character growth

Toward the end of my bio, I describe what type of guy I’m looking for. Since I’m vocalizing that I want sex, I don’t want to attract guys that navigate sex through a sex-negative lens. I emphasized the importance of his character, and I ended it off by asking the guy about how he is continuing to grow his character.

Conversations that encourage growth - which involve being open-minded, critical thinking, and expressing emotions in a problem-solving way - are skills that a person needs to build an emotional connection with me. (I will write more in-depth about this in a future blog; it’s challenging to fit it all in one blog.)

Now that I broke down my bio, in my next blog, I will write about the top three Facebook Dating features that I use to enhance my bio.

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