Magnetic Couples - More Than Just Attraction

By Casey Krueger

2 min read

When you think of magnets, many different things might come to mind. The main idea is always the same: two things being drawn together by an invisible force. Well, I can tell you - love can work very similarly: two souls drawn to one another by a different, yet much more powerful, force. But this is about more than just objects or people.

What is a magnetic couple?

In the wide world of HIV, building relationships is always a topic of discussion. Disclosure, PrEP, U=U - there are so many messages to try to bring people living with HIV out of the darkness created by stigma, and into the light of the world of loving relationships.

This brings us to the topic of magnetic couples: one living with HIV (the positive side of the magnet) and the other without HIV (the negative side of the magnet). I use the term magnetic for a very powerful reason.

Dating, relationships, and important terminology

First of all, I despise the term “sero-discordant”. It’s disgustingly stigmatizing. Discord is never a word I want to use to describe my relationships. Sero-different is ok but, from my perspective, there is still a separation. “Magnetic”, however, means now you have something that draws two things together. Two objects. Two souls.

But what happens next, after you get over the hurdles that come with building relationships? This is where the word “magnetic” truly finds meaning for me. HIV takes a village and now two souls are walking the same journey.

Being part of a magnetic couple

A magnetic couple, in many ways, is just like any other couple. You share experiences and challenges, supporting each other. But I can tell you when you are living with HIV, that partnered soul can be the difference between life and death.

My partner's presence

Having someone next to you when you visit the doctor, take your meds, have your bad days...it is a constant reminder that you are not alone in this anymore. Living with HIV has many, many challenges, and those challenges change from person to person. Having someone that knows those challenges, and takes the time to learn how to help, makes living with HIV much easier.

When I was young and internalized stigma really hit me, I was ready to martyr myself to a life of loneliness for the sake of keeping my HIV to myself. Then as I grew out of that, I began experiencing what it feels like to have someone second-guess being with you in a long-term relationship because they don’t see the future in it because of my HIV.

Partners in shared journey

Finally finding the person I not only connected with but wanted to spend the rest of their life with me gave me more hope than I had ever felt. She has happily joined me on my journey, not just with HIV, but with my advocacy.

Thanks to her, we are able to show the world that people living with HIV are able to have healthy, loving, and physical relationships. We are not pulled apart by my HIV, we are given more ways to be drawn together. Two souls, one journey.

Are you part of a magnetic couple? Share your experience, get advice from others, and learn how to best support your partner - here!

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The H-I-V.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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Khafre Kujichagulia Abif Moderator
Alafia (Peace) <inline-mention user-id="2048419" username="Shawn Krueger"/> , I'm so glad to hear you found someone. Thank you for sharing your heart. Khafre (Team Member)
glitterphile Member
I am a cochlear implant wearer in addition in having HIV and I object to the appropriative term "magnetic" unless you actually have a real magnet implanted inside your head like I do--stop using terms as imagery. Can we find a better term for this? magnetic isn't it.
1. LizGreen Community Admin
 Hi <inline-mention user-id="2048183" username="glitterphile"/> , Thank you so much for this perspective, it is very important. It seems like the author was using it as a metaphor, like you said, imagery without realizing or acknowledging it is a word from those who use it to describe wearing a cochlear implant. I'm glad we have this discussion here to acknowledge that and supplement the article. I think the author is trying to find a replacement for the word serodiscordant, which he finds stigmatizing. Is there a word you recommend when describing this type of couple that isn't used in other ways? Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience with the community. - Liz (H-I-V.net Team Member)
glitterphile Member
am a cochlear implant wearer in addition in having HIV and I object to the appropriative term "magnetic" unless you actually have a real magnet implanted inside your head like I do--stop using terms as imagery. Can we find a better term for this?
glitterphile Member
am a cochlear implant wearer in addition in having HIV and I object to the appropriative term "magnetic" unless you actually have a real magnet implanted inside your head like I do
Khafre Kujichagulia Abif Moderator
Alafia (Peace) <inline-mention username="Shawn Krueger" user-id="2048419"/>, Glad you were able to move past the internalized stigma. If you hadn't you most likely would not have found your partner. Really insightful article. Khafre (Team Member)